It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize