Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
