I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
