If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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