It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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