you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
