My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
