i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
