1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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