Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
