She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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