I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
