Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
