so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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