All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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