No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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