arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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