I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
