friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
