You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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