Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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