You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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