3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
