before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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