i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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