Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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