oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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