mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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