i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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