So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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