We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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