I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
