So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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