He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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