PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize