i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
