if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
