Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
