so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
