You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
