Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
