just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
