I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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