her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
a search helicopter?!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
