My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
