even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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