can u get pink eye on your cock?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Never joke about your clitoris.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
