Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
