we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
