She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
