Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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