he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
