you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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