But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
