yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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